John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Business Communication and the Sexes

At the coffee shop this morning and I notice the subtle difference in how women and men communicate with the same sex when meeting for business purposes.  Each table seems to have two people talking away with files and laptops and tablets and legal pads covering up the table leaving a few inches open for their coffee and pastries.

At tables where women are ta…lking to women, they each listen while the other is talking. They are “connecting” and fully engaged with each other.

At tables where men are talking to men, they each are pretending to listen but primarily preparing what they will say next. They aren’t really in connecting mode but rather “transacting mode.”

What is most interesting is that at tables where a man and a women are are having a business conversation the man listens and is trying to “connect” and the women is thinking about what she is going to say next —and trying to pretend like she is connecting.

And here’s the irony: The same man who when talking business with another man knows his colleague isn’t really listening (even though his colleague is pretending to listen), when talking to a women believes they are really connecting (even though his female colleague is only pretending to connect.)

Since time immemorial.