John Y.’s Musings from the Middle: Lindsay Lohan & I Had Bran Muffins & Coffee!!

Outrageous! Lindsay Lohan outdoes herself again!!
I just had an apple bran muffin and coffee for breakfast.
OK…I admit it.
I used a fake Lindsay Lohan lead to get attention because my Facebook status update this morning is my dullest ever, and I was trying to spice it up and pull people in.
Of course, I don’t know Lindsay Lohan and have no idea what she did last night…For all I know, she didn’t …do anything and just had an apple bran muffin and coffee.

Lindsay Lohan NUDE!!!

Which gives me an idea. Here is my new status update:

“Lindsay Lohan and I had apple bran muffins and coffee.”
Again, depending on how you read that sentence it, too, can be misleading. I wasn’t eating an apple bran muffin and coffee at the same time in the presence of Lindsay Lohan, and some could read it that way. And that wouldn’t be accurate.
Besides, if I had to choose between Lindsay Lohan or an apple bran muffin and coffee, I’d go with the latter.

My beautiful wife and some shmo

And if I had a choice between sitting with Lindsay Lohan AND eating an apple bran muffin and coffee OR sitting with my wife for 5 minutes (with no apple bran muffin and coffee), I’d choose my wife every time. 

Even if I was super hungry and really needed my morning coffee. She’s hotter than Lindsay and actually likes apple bran muffins, like I do.
So anyway, that’s my status report for today:
“I had an apple bran muffin and coffee this morning. And my wife is hotter than Lindsay Lohan.”
I think I’ll leave it at that. Turns out this morning wasn’t so dull after all.


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