Musings from the Middle

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Spiritual Thoughts

By Jonathan Miller, on Tue Jan 20, 2015 at 12:00 PM ET

Spiritual Thought for the Day:

“Just for today I will avoid the Seven Deadly Sins of anger, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy, and gluttony.

And engage in sins that are merely physically unhealthy but not life threatening.”

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When someone is rude to me in a public place and I can’t think of a clever retort, I sometimes wish there was a magic pause button I could push until I come up with a clever retort.

And a magic fast forward button I could push right after I say it.

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When I say I fully intend to do something, I mean it. At the time I say it. And I think I mean it more than most people. Even a lot of the ones who do it when I don’t. And I think the depth of that conviction — despite the lack of execution– ought to count for something.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Sleep

By John Y. Brown III, on Mon Jan 19, 2015 at 12:00 PM ET

I am about to go to sleep

After my insomnia lets go it’s grip on my brain
And sleepiness displaces restlessness
And I get ready for bed
And drink another warm glass of milk
And get into bed
And try to go to sleep
After I set my alarm
And check it to make sure it is set
And after realizing, again, it is far too late to be getting to bed
But feeling relieved that short sleep is nearing
And finally drifting toward oblivion thinking to myself

I am about to go to sleep

John Y. Brown, III: R.I.P Jim King

By John Y. Brown III, on Sun Jan 18, 2015 at 9:23 AM ET

I didn’t know Jim King well but as we have learned in our collective grieving the past 24 hours, everyone in Louisville seems to have a Jim King story, including me.

The first time I ever had an extended conversation with Jim King was just over 5 years ago when Jerry Abramson announced he would not seek reelection and Jim King’s name immediately circulated as a likely candidate for mayor.

A local community leader and mentor of mine called me and said “You have to meet the man who is going to be Louisville’s next mayor, Jim King. You will be very impressed!” I said I’d love to meet Mr King and that I had met him before but only causally and that I didn’t have a good sense of what he was like but would love an introduction and opportunity to get to know him better.

A meeting was set up and I went to one of Mr King’s banks and he met with me promptly at the exact time we had scheduled. He talked about his background, his business, and most of all, his vision for the city of Louisville and the kind of leadership he felt was needed and that he felt he could offer.

I was, indeed, very impressed.

After I left I called my mentor/friend and thanked him for urging me to meet with Mr King and introducing me to him. “What was your impression of Jim?” he asked me. “Do you think he’ll win the mayor’s race if he runs?”

“Jim King certainly has a very mayoral presence. That’s for sure.” I said. “He commands respect and has an even greater command of the issues facing our community and seems to care deeply and genuinely about our city. Those are all important qualities but I’m not sure that is what makes him stand out most as a possible candidate for mayor.”

“What do you think makes him stand out most as a candidate?” I was asked.

“Well,” I hesitated because I wasn’t sure how I was going to say what I was feeling. But it came out like this: “Well….I think after my one brief meeting with Jim King I would say that his greatest strength as a mayoral candidate is that….is that after you meet him you feel afraid NOT to vote for him.”

We both broke out into laughter before I interrupted. “I don’t mean that like it sounded. I mean that people want a strong personality for their mayor and a sense that their mayor will protect them. I felt that for sure from Jim King. He is a strong and forceful personality who doesn’t suffer fools gladly. The mayor is a CEO-type office and requires a CEO-type personality and Jim King certainly has that, too. He seems like the consummate ‘no nonsense, get ‘r done’ kind of leader. The challenge for people like Jim King in politics is that they sometimes don’t have the patience for the beauty contest aspects of a long political campaign. They just want to get on with running things”

My friend said, “Maybe so but no one will work harder or smarter than Jim King.” I agreed and that is where we left our conversation.

Jim King did run for mayor and, of course, didn’t win, but like the determined community leader he was he never let up and continued working away on behalf of Louisville and Louisvillians in the leadership role he did secure as Metro Council President. And he was relentless. A relentless worker but most of all relentlessly passionate about his work, and his family, and the betterment of the city we all had the privilege to share with Jim King.

After my first meeting with Jim King I had the opportunity to visit with him on several other occasions and these subsequent visits left a markedly different impression on me than my first. I got to see the other sides of Jim King. He was incredibly thoughtful and caring and compassionate in ways that ran far deeper than his seemingly tough exterior. He was a complex “big picture” leader, on the one hand, and yet also was easily able to singularly focus on every issue before him, no matter how small or big. And he was a local leader our entire community came to trust and rely on far more than we were ever fully aware.

After my first visit with Jim King there was never another time I used the word ‘afraid’ in conjunction with his name —until yesterday. When I told a good mutual friend that “I am afraid our city has just lost one of it’s greatest citizens.”

And we have.

RIP Mr King

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: My True Gifts

By John Y. Brown III, on Fri Jan 16, 2015 at 12:00 PM ET

My lovely wife Rebecca has, again, failed to fully appreciate me and the gifts I possess.

Tonight, or this morning really, Rebecca woke up to me making clanking sounds in our closet as I pushed unneeded hangers into the garbage can. I was so proud of my work. I had stayed up much of the night clearing out and organizing my side of the closet and knew Rebecca would really be excited. Actually, I just hoped she wouldn’t be mad because I did make a lot of noise the last 30 minutes and did wake her up.

Well, you guessed it. She wasn’t really happy or proud of me. She instead seemed irritated with me–just like she was when I stayed up late at night cleaning out my closet in November and woke her up. (The closet had gotten disorganized again since November.)

Rebecca didn’t say “Thanks” or “This looks great” but rather the more disappointing and familiar “John, this is not normal behavior.”

“Well, you know what?” I offered, “I’m not completely normal. OK? And that’s a good thing. In fact, I think my behavior is probably a sign of something that is very positive. Like above average intelligence.”

“Oh really?” Rebecca said while grinning in a state of disbelief. “No. It’s not.”

Oh, yes. It sure is. I remember reading that many years ago in college in a book by Jim Fixx called ‘Running.’ The book was about the benefits of jogging —which I didn’t do–but that’s not the point. In fact, part of the reason I didn’t take up jogging is he died of a heart atrack right after the book got published but that’s not the point either. The point is that in some part of the book the author mentions he is in MENSA, the high IQ society, and lists some of the behavioral traits of highly intelligent people he has met in MENSA. And one of those traits of highly intelligent people is that they need less sleep.”

“Oh, that’s nonsense.” Rebecca blurted as she rolled her eyes and walked away.

“Not at all.” I countered. “He lists a lot of different traits of highly intelligent people and I rememberer that one clearly because that was the only one I really had in common with MENSANS and it allowed me to hold out hope I might have some kind of giftedness. So, you see, this is just part of who I am. Part of the John Brown package and there are, admittedly, some annoying traits mixed in but that’s just part of the whole really good –on balance– ‘package deal’ you got with me.”

“Oh really?” Rebecca said chuckling. “Well, then, we are about to start going through this package and throwing out a lot of the parts in it.”

“But you can’t do that.” I explained. “It’s all one integrated system”

“I always throw away accessories that aren’t needed.” Rebecca said unconvinced.

“That won’t work here. Look, if I had gotten you some big…some big…machine ….for Christmas, like a vacuum cleaner –you know, something you put together– you wouldn’t look at the different pieces and throw out the ones that you didn’t like. You need all the pieces or it won’t work. You see?” Rebecca still seemed unconvinced. I went on, “Think of this piece of me that is irritating you this morning as being attached to the motor –my motor—that is me. You can’t throw away a piece of a motor. The machine stops working then. You don’t want that to happen, do you?”

“Oh Lord.” Rebecca said exasperated. “Are we going to church?”

“Yes, of course.” I agreed. “But would you mind running out and getting us both some coffee first? My motor could use some fuel right now. The good part of my motor, that is. The non-annoying part. The part that you like”

Rebecca left to get the coffee and I couldn’t tell by the way she was walking really fast —like she does when she is trying to leave the room before she says something she doesn’t really mean— I couldn’t tell if she was really convinced about my whole “high intelligence–motor –cleaning out the closet half-the-night” theory or not. I just didn’t know.

But here’s the funny part. I made it all up. Seriously. The truth is I couldn’t sleep and cleaned out my closet and was being annoying –but tried to make Rebecca believe my odd behavior was really a reflection of something grand or gifted about me. But it really isn’t. At least I don’t think it is.

Is it? Who knows? Heck, maybe it is.

Hey, at least I made myself wonder if there’s something to my theory, even if Rebecca doesn’t buy it. And that has to count for something.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Slim Fit

By John Y. Brown III, on Thu Jan 15, 2015 at 12:00 PM ET

I inadvertently purchased a “slim fit” shirt for myself over Christmas. And grabbed it and put it on quickly this morning before realizing what I had done.

At first I thought I may have unknowingly been taking steroids. Then I thought perhaps it was my son’s shirt. Or about anybody else’s shirt but mine. By the time I realized what happened, I was already in my car and several miles down the road and already running a little late so I was stuck.

I tried best I could to conceal the issue by standing as straight as possible and sucking in my stomach and trying to look like I wasn’t nearly as uncomfortable as I appeared to people looking at me and noticing my overly-strained shirt buttons trying not to snap off if I exhaled too fully.

I tried to give a look to others that said, “This shirt fits me fine. It really does. I may have picked up 2 or 3 extra pounds over the holidays that may make it seem a little tighter today than it really is. But that is just for today and a silly holiday thing. This shirt fits great and is shaped perfectly for me.” That is a really hard look to maintain for nearly 13 hours. Heck, that’s a hard look to maintain for 13 minutes. Or even 13 seconds.

But I did it anyway. Which says something about me. Mostly that I am able to go nearly 13 consecutive hours taking only short shallow breaths.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Retweeting

By John Y. Brown III, on Wed Jan 14, 2015 at 12:00 PM ET

Before we “retweet” anything it is important to ask ourselves:

1) Are we doing this because we really think it is a Tweet worthy of retweeting (for the sake of humankind)?
2) Or is it worthy of retweeting more as an inside joke to an inner circle of our friends?
3) Or are we trying to curry favor with the Tweeting person even though we don’t believe the Tweet is all that special?
4) Or are we retweeting a Tweet because that person recently retweeted one of our Tweets (and we’d like for them to do that again)?
5) Or are we just trying to encourage a friend who rarely Tweets anything to hang in there and they will eventually “get” Tweeting?
6) Or are we retweeting to just let others on Twitter know that we know about retweeting and how to do it properly?
7) Or because we just want to cast out some virtual action into the vast abyss of cyberspace in hopes it will momentarily make us feel that we really do matter and can have some impact, however marginal or meaningless, on an impersonal universe?

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Happy New Year?

By John Y. Brown III, on Tue Jan 13, 2015 at 12:00 PM ET

I am declaring (for myself anyway) that January 12 at 630 pm is the official end of having to ask people you talk to for the first time this year if they had a nice holiday and happy new year.

Unless you are genuinely curious and sincerely want to know. Or can’t think of absolutely anything else to say.

So to all friends I see for the first time this hear after tonight, we will have to wait until 2016 for me to ask you if you had a nice holiday and happy new year.

(Note: I originally intended January 12 at 430 pm to be the deadline but just finished a conference call with people I didn’t know well and extended the deadline for that call.)

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Silver linings and family vacation low points

By John Y. Brown III, on Mon Jan 12, 2015 at 12:00 PM ET

Family vacations are full of wonderful moments that create even better memories.

But don’t be fooled by happy Facebook posts. Every family, including ours , has periods during a family vacation that are less than festive. There are inevitably occasional periods that are unpleasant where everyone is exhausted and irritated.

But when that happens in our family there is a silver lining.

No matter how bad things get we have a safe place we can go where we are all on the same page –and it is this: Each family member can agree that they don’t really like me and that I am to blame for everything. And that includes me!

It may not sound like much but at a vacation low point it means a lot when all family members can be reminded there is still a unifying point where we all can be on the same page together –disdain and disgust toward Dad. And from that agreeable touchpoint we always seem able to work our way out of our petty and momentary frustrations and get back on track toward moving to a happier place.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Audacity by a Lawyer

By John Y. Brown III, on Fri Jan 9, 2015 at 12:00 PM ET

I told the story to my son about how my grandfather (and his great grandfather) got the rarefied and much coveted opportunity to argue before the United States Supreme Court. He lost. But had one of the bolder moments of an attorney before the Supreme Court. Probably too bold.

Of course, for such an august task as arguing before the Supreme Court, an attorney would be well served by a strong self-esteem and command of the courtroom. But John Y Sr, in… the middle of his oral argument, became irritated that Justice Arthur Goldberg didn’t seem to be listening and instead was shuffling papers. John Y Sr stopped his argument and said something to the effect of “Justice Goldberg, I have looked forward my entire legal career to have the opportunity to argue before the U.S Supreme Court and I would appreciate it if you would stop shuffling those papers and listen to my argument and allow the other Justices to as well.”

Justice Goldberg complied. But Justice Goldberg also was assigned the task of writing the majority opinion, which was unfavorable to my grandfather. Coincidence?
Who knows. But I suspect Justice Goldberg took a request from a Southern attorney for common courtesy as something closer to a brazenness. Again, who knows.

But thanks to my cousin Benham Sims for finding this gem. We both are surely proud of our grandfather and are grateful for the long list of amusing and memorable courtroom stories he left behind as part of his legacy.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Grownup Things

By John Y. Brown III, on Thu Jan 8, 2015 at 12:00 PM ET

Sometimes in life –as we get older –we find ourselves doing things not because we “want to do them” but rather because it is the “grown – up thing to do.”

I just had one of those moments. And it feels good inside.

We just left a video arcade where a 9 year old boy was playing Pop-a-Shot and thought he was really hot stuff. He had an entrouge cheering him on: his father, mother and older sister. They were chanting things like “Go, Josh!” and “That’s great, Josh!”

Well, I did what any other guy in a video arcade would do who had Pop-a-Shot game. I immediately got 4 quarters and went to work. While the family was still close enough to watch me.

I filled it up, too! Josh’s high game was 22. Mine was 41. ‘Nuf said!

As I turned to walk away in hopes someone in that family would marvel out loud, “Who is that guy?” or at least say to me “Great shooting!” But none did. Instead they stared downward at the machine and watched it spit out ticket after ticket I had won with my score.

It was at that moment I knew what I should do: Reach down and grab the tickets and buy my 16 year old daughter and 20 year old son a toy prize.

But something deep inside me reminded me that when I did that in the past –when they were very young – we never made it home with the toy prize intact.

And then something hit me at a deeper level. It was this question: What would a real grown-up do? And I had it. I knew without even thinking. A real grown-up would leave the tickets so he wouldn’t have to clean up the mess in the car after his kids tore up the toy prizes trying to play with them. And I did.

Josh grabbed the tickets and looked at me and I just smiled. I told him I was 51 years old now and he could have my tickets. He thanked me excitedly. I shrugged and looking at his parents and added, “If I were 49 I might want to keep them.”

They laughed out loud. But that’s because they don’t understand. They were in their early 40s and couldn’t yet know where I was coming from. But one day they will.