Lisa Miller: The Pursuit of Happiness

What I know for sure — now in my mid forties — is that my life doesn’t have to be an uphill climb.

I also know that my happiness — the enduring  sort — is right here, all the time, just waiting for me to have it completely; and that it’s all about today, right now. 

A mentor of mine named David, at the Chopra Center for Wellbeing in Carlsbad posted this on his Facebook page last week, and pretty much sums it up:

Accept this moment exactly as it is because every moment leading up to this very moment is exactly as it is.  This can be a toughie but whether you like it or not, the past is carved in stone…however, this moment—this precious moment right now has infinite possibilities.  What do you want to choose—the past or the now?

Because we live in a culture fed by the notion that we have to work, work, work, for what we “deserve,” we find ourselves conditioned to believe that we don’t deserve anything without the intellectual sweat, sweat, sweat and tears.

I have to include a quote from the Dahli Lama.  When asked what surprised him most about humanity, he answered:

Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money.  Then he sacrifices his money in order to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the  future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not enjoy the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die; and then dies having never really lived.

It seems this notion of work has spilled over into our beliefs about happiness as well.  But the truth is that this Western-culture approach is incomplete, isn’t it?  It doesn’t acknowledge the truth that there is a deeper, more pervasive aspect of the human experience that is fed by the powerful natural inclination toward happiness. 

When we are happy with our undertakings, they are a lot less like work and a lot more like fulfillment.  We’ve all heard the adage, “Love your work and you’ll never work a day in your life.”  And, as I think about this I can’t help but ask the question of how.  Dr. Chopra puts it best in one of his recent new books, The Ultimate Happiness Prescription:

The purpose of life is the expansion of happiness.  Happiness is the goal of every other goal.  Most people are under the impression that happiness comes from becoming successful, accumulating wealth, being healthy, and having good relationships.  There is certainly enormous social pressure to believe that these accomplishments are the same as achieving happiness.  However, this is a mistake.  Success, wealth, good health, and nurturing relationships are by-products of happiness, not the cause.

Not the cause!

I’ve actually found this to be true: The more time I spend engaged in creative, fulfilling tasks, the more I seem to attract into my life opportunities that keep allowing me to feel creative and fulfilled. 

Teaching is a good example of this.  I love teaching and have a life long history of it in various ways: from teaching my 5 year old sister to read when I was just 9, to my Sunday School duties with the kindergarten class at 14, to arts camp directorships, to creating mom/daughter workshops as an adult.

The more I’ve engaged in teacher training opportunities just because they feel great, the more opportunities have landed in my lap that feel great.  I’m now teaching yoga and mediation to adults and kids; and I’ve gotta say, I didn’t plan it, but it keeps me yoga-ing and meditating myself, which brings the by-product of happiness in general.  Ask my family.

And frankly, the better I feel about the bits of time here and there (I’ve been mothering daughters for 17 years; and have been married to a recovering politician for five more than that) that are creative and fun, the more everything else feels fine, including cleaning out the garage and cooking dinner.

Louise Hay puts it beautifuly in You Can Heal Your Life:

Click on the book cover to sample.

The Universe totally supports us in every thought we choose to think and believe.  Put another way, our subconscious mind accepts whatever we choose to believe and so what I believe about myself and my lifew becomes true for me.  What you choose to think about yourself and about life becomes true for you.   And we have unlimited choices about what we can think.

Doesn’t it make sense then to think about enduring happiness?

And like my favorite medicine woman and teacher, Rosalyn Bruyere always says:

“Releasing negative feelings never works, you have to flush them out with good ones.”

Try it!  What makes your heart sing?  What do you yearn to do, play with, seek?  When you think about waking up in the morning, which activities would make you excited to get up and go?  In which experiences do you lose track of time?

The answers are the seeds of enduring happiness, and they are as natural to us as breathing, so why not, eh? 

It wasn’t too long ago that I was working really hard for happiness–it was an uphill climb and I could never fully appreciate the view along the way.  Funny, I’m kinda craving a little mountaineering now if you must know.  The real thing.  But how’s this for life; I’m planning to climb a a few mountains because it seems like fun (a nice one, with a hiking trail!), and because the air will smell great, and because I’ll enjoy it. 

How are you enjoying the mountain, the air, the view, your life?  Share your answers here so that others can be inspired.

Namaste and chocolate to yuh.