Rod Jetton: How Campaigning Works

156_Rod_Jetton_(R)_Marble_HillWhile walking driving the highway one day an old Senator was tragically hit by a semi-truck and died.

Surprisingly, his soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the pearly gates.

“Welcome to heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a powerful politician around these parts, you see, so I’m not sure what to do with you.”

“No problem, I understand,” says the Senator. “Just go ahead and let me in.”

“Well, I’d like to, but I’ll have to check with Jesus first and see what to do about what you.” After checking with Jesus St. Peter retuned and said, “What we’ll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.”

“Really…? I’m awfully confident that I want to be in heaven,” says the Senator.

“I’m sorry, but we have our rules.”

“But I’m sure I want to go to heaven!”

“I understand, but first you have to spend twenty four hours in each.”

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

The doors open and the senator walks out into the middle of a beautiful green golf course. In the distance is a magnificent clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him in politics.

Everyone is so happy and in elegant tuxedos and evening gowns. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They played a friendly game of golf and then dined on lobster, caviar and the finest champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy having a good time dancing and telling the funniest stories. They are all having such a good time that before the Senator realizes it, his twenty four hours were up and it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves goodbye while the elevator rises…

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens in heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him, “Now it’s time to visit heaven.”

So, twenty four hours passed with the Senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing all the old time hymns. They were having a very good time and before he realizes it, the twenty four hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

“Well, then, you’ve spent a day in hell and another in heaven. So where do you want to spend eternity.”

The Senator reflects for a minute, then he slowly muttered: “Well… I would never have thought I would say this, I mean, umm… heaven has been delightful, but hell was a whole lot better than I expected it to be and all my friends were there… so I think, umm… I would be better off in hell.”

Without saying a word St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

Now as the doors of the elevator open he’s in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulders and says, “Congratulations you made it!”

As the Senator looked around he stammered, “I don’t understand… yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there’s just a desert wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What… what happened?”

The devil smiles at him, takes a puff on a big fat cigar and says, “Yesterday we were campaigning …

But today, you voted.”

Vote wisely today!

Comments

Leave a Reply

You can use these HTML tags

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

  

  

  

The Recovering Politician Bookstore

     

The RP on The Daily Show

Sign Up For The RP's Email List!

*