John Y. Brown, Sr: “A Life too Short — Pam’s Impossible Dream”

JYB Sr., JYB Jr. and JYB III circa 1972

This Father’s Day I received an unexpected almost magical gift at 11pm on the plane ride home from a family vacation. While clearing out old stored documents on my laptop I found a story written by my grandfather, John Y Brown Sr,  whose name I carry, reflecting on the meaning of being a father to his youngest daughter, Pam Brown.

It’s titled “A Life too Short: Pam’s Impossible Dream.”

It is a sad and tragic story….but it is also a celebration of the love of a doting and devoted father for his endearing and adoring youngest daughter.

Pam died at the age of 28 trying –along with her newlywed husband and one other—to be the first persons to cross the Atlantic Ocean in a hot air balloon. It was a quixotic adventure that ended tragically and probably, more than any other single event, defined or redefined my father’s family.

Pam had a flair for the dramatic and in her short life had a distinguished career in theater and television. Actor’s Theatre in Louisville has a portrait of Pam on display (mentioned in my grandfather’s story) –just outside of the theatre that bears her name.

I remember when the balloon went down in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. And when some two weeks later when the search parties gave up looking for the bodies. We never talked a lot about it as a  family. I suppose it was too painful.

But in my grandfather’s case it appears it was so painful he had to write about it. My grandfather was a thoughtful, kind and thoroughly good man. But not a man who spoke easily about feelings. That all changed for me last night (as I’m sure it changed for other family members when they read or will read this story) as I stumbled across his heartfelt reflection of his relationship with his youngest daughter and her tragic death. It’s a photocopy of the booklet he created– typed out with pictures and some portions written in his own hand when he was about 80 years old.

My grandfather was a man I  knew, respected and loved –but didn’t know as well as I wanted to. I’d never glimpsed his most human or fragile side. A side all fathers and grandfathers have. It was a wonderful Father’s Day gift.

From a man who died on Father’s Day 27 years ago yesterday.