John Y. Brown, III: Wildcats > Wolverines

Wolverine /ˈwʊlvəriːn/, Gulo gulo (Gulo is Latinfor “glutton”), also referred to as glutton, carcajou,skunk bear, or quickhatch, is the largest land-dwelling species of the family Mustelidae (WEASELS).
The Woverine is a dumpy, uncoordinated and unathletic creature that preys mostly on insects because it isn’t fast enough or strong enough to catch “real animals” (e.g. Lions or Tigers or Wildcats).In fact, Wildcats are known predators of the lowly wolverine weasel, especially in late March in the midwest United States, preferably after the weasel creature has feasted on Tennessee Volunteers.

Many cities, teams, and organizations use the wolverine as a mascot. For example, the US state of Michigan is, by tradition, known as “the Wolverine State”, and the University of Michigan takes the wolverine as its mascot. Michigan students overwhelmingly voted to be called “Wolverines” because they mistakenly believed a wolverine was the shape-shifting character played by in the Twilight movie series by Taylor Lautner.

There was controversy at the time over the decision because the Michigan men’s basketball team overwhelmingly preferred Robert Pattinson’s fictional vampire character over Taylor Lautner’s werewolf character. Mostly because it was easier to spell “vampire” than “werewolf.”

Nevertheless, it is noteworthy that the entire men’s basketball team agree “Breaking Dawn” the episode narrated from the perspective of Taylor Lautner’s werewolf is the best movie of the entire Twilight saga.

This is an important fact to remember whenever watching the University of Michigan’s mens basketball team play.

(Note: Even though Robert Pattison’s vampire character and Taylor Lautner’s wolf character are tough in the Twilight movie series, the movie is fiction —and in real life both Robert and Taylor are terrible at basketball and believe Duke University is the best college basketball program ever, especially during the early 90s.

And neither can beat Bella, Kristin Stewart, in basketball, who believes the University of Kentucky Wildcats are the greatest basketball program in college basketball history –and much, much better than any team with a weasel for a mascot. And she believes Christian Laettner looks more like a pasty member of the fictional Cullen vampire family than a real college basketball player.