“From Paducah to Pikeville…” & Other Clichés KY Pols Need to Retire

Speaking of clcihes…

Having spent more than a decade on the Kentucky political campaign trail, I have become thoroughly nauseated with the overuse of certain clichés that need desperate retiring.

Of course, I’ve been as culpable as anybody at repeating them.

But as an initial step of my political recovery, I’m here to take responsibility for my lexicological malfeasance (that’s Harvard for poor word choice), and try to convince others to follow a more noble course.

So, here goes, my list of clichés that I urge Kentucky politicians to join me in sealing in a mine shaft somewhere in Letcher County:

 

• “From Paducah to Pikeville…”  This is an old stand-by for any politician that wants to demonstrate his idea has broad appeal, or that her statewide travel has been extensive.  Of course, my high school English teacher would applaud the use of alliteration.  But man, is it overused by KY pols.  Worse, it doesn’t accruately reflect the whole span of the Bluegrass State from East to West.  Pikeville is in the state’s easternmost county, but it rests on the western side of Pike County.  Worse, Paducah lies east of four significant Kentucky counties — it is not even considered part of Far Western Kentucky.  A more geographically sufficient expression would be “From the New Madrid Bend to Elkhorn City…” Has a kind of ring to it, huh?
• “Oh the sun shines bright…”  If I hear another Kentucky politician quote “My Old Kentucky Home,” let me tell you, I will make sure that he weeps much more, my lady.  That metaphor should have fittingly disappeared when Happy Chandler sang at his last UK basketball senior day.  Plenty of other songs to quote, folks — Elvis’ “Kentucky Rain”, Bill Monroe’s “Blue Moon of Kentucky”; heck, I’d even take Neil Diamond’s “Kentucky Woman”: “I don’t want much/The good Lord’s earth beneath my feet/A gentle touch/From that one [Commonwealth], and life is/Sweet and good/Ain’t no  doubt/I’m talkin’ about.”
• “Tax Reform“:  Kentucky’s modern politics is littered with the carcasses of politicians who’ve dared to raise our taxes — Governor Bert Combs and Louie “Nickel” Nunn come easily to mind.  But guess what:  Occasionally to stay competitive in the modern economy, we need to increase government revenues.  Yes, we need to Raise Taxes.  We desperately need a few more politicians brave enough to admit that.  And remember — History has treated Combs and Nunn a lot more kindly than many of their not-as-brave successors.
• “Move Kentucky Forward“:  Want a quick clue that a KY pol has no vision or agenda?  S/he will use the go-to phrase: “I want to move Kentucky forward.”  What does that mean, anyway?  Absolutely nothing, say it again.
• “Our Young People Are Our Future“:  Boy, I hated this one when I was a young politico — a back-handed, partronizing compliment, usually used in the context of a specifics-free, poll-chasing appeal to “improve” our education system.  Young people are our present —  If they are 18, they vote; they are part of our workforce; they are disproportionate consumers, and they matter.  Now.  I’d rather hear politicians at youth-filled rallies outline specific plans to make college more affordable, or to address the “brain drain” of our smartest teenagers.
• “Rob Peter to Pay Paul“: I’ve never really understood this one since the too Apostles never met. (Although this Web site tries to discover the etymology.)  But can’t we come up with a better way of saying that a funds transfer hurts one good cause while helping another?  Maybe, “Rob Bob Dylan to pay Peter, Paul and Mary?”
• “My Good Friend…”:  Usually used on the floor of the Kentucky legislature.  Translation:  “The jerk who just back-stabbed me…”
• “Double Down/All-in“:  As a proud poker player, I love references to card games, but MY GOD HAVEN”T WE USED THESE EXPRESSIONS ENOUGH?!?!?
• “Game Changer“: See “Double Down/All-in”

OK, your turn.  What have I missed?  Please tweet your least favorite Kentucky political clichés to me at @RecoveringPol, and I will update this list with appropriate credit.  Maybe we will even start a new drinking game tradition during Fancy Farm.