Al Mayo: On DOMA and Gay Marriage

I have watched, and listened to reaction in the days since the Supreme Court struck down the Defense Of Marriage Act. I respect and understand others have different outlooks and opinions, but for the life of me, I cannot begin to understand the hate and vitriol that continues to spew from those who consider themselves good Christian people. Even before the ruling was an hour old, there were Christian groups vowing to fight it. Let me also say that I have many friends who are devout Christians, and even some who are in the ministry. I have never heard those people say anything derogatory. In fact, they are some of the most tolerant, and decent people I have ever known. Granted, not all of them will agree with me, but I’m certain they will respect my opinion.

Before you stop reading and chalk me up as a non-believing Atheist, let me stop you. I am not only a believer in God, but I pray daily. I was raised to believe God is a loving and inclusive being who loves everyone. I am also a fifty-one year-old heterosexual male, so I have absolutely no dog in this fight. I simply want people to be more tolerant.

I may have known gay people when I was a kid. Frankly I don’t know for sure. It was not something that was discussed. We heard whispers occasionally about people who were, “different”, or “funny that way”, but in my memory, I knew very little about gay people until I was in high school. Even then it wasn’t something widely discussed. I had at least one openly gay classmate in high school, but it frankly was not a big deal.

In my chosen profession of radio, I began to cross paths with many gay people as the years flew by. Frankly, as long as they could do the job and do it well, it didn’t matter to me. Still doesn’t. As I expanded into some TV work it became even more common to have gay co-workers. Again, didn’t matter at all to me. Some of my closest friends in media are gay. In fact many of those I respect the most in my business are gay.

As gay activism began to spread across the country, I began to hear more and more so-called righteous, Christian people talk about the evil that gay people represented, and how gays were trying to recruit children to the lifestyle. It was funny to me then and now, because that’s EXACTLY what righteous Christian people do. Recruit children to their chosen doctrine. I have never seen, or heard a gay person try to invite a kid to a meeting for indoctrination. Doesn’t happen. A more ridiculous thing I have never heard.

By the same token, i cannot ever recall a gay person speaking in hatred against straight people. It may happen, and in fact probably does, but they must have a better sense of decorum because I never hear it in public.

I realize attitudes in this country are difficult to change, but here’s the most important part of what I want to say. You don’t have to change, sacrifice, or lose anything, in order to have a just, and fair society. What will it take for everyone in America to understand that gay marriage doesn’t hurt them or their children? As recently as 1967, interracial marriage was still illegal in some states. A felony, punishible by a prison term. Prison? For loving someone? Yes. But that has all changed and now is hardly an issue on a public level.

I have friends and acquaintances on all sides of the political spectrum. Arch-Conservative, and Ultra-Liberal. All of them have qualities that cause me to like and respect them. As a result, I know there will be a divided reaction to this post. For those who disagree, I have no ill will or hatred, and I know there will be some pushback here. But my fervent hope is that we all get along. No one is hurting anyone.